Most days I wake up, and feel as young as the age I am, and then come the times where I feel much older than I am, with the latter becoming more common since my son started secondary school in September 2017. I don't know if its the fact that I'm one of the youngest parents with a year seven pupil, or if its the fact that everyone looks older, they're at a stage in their lives where their mortgages are over 50% paid off and they're planning vowel renewals because of course, they were married years ago.
Being a young parent comes with its advantages, but it also comes with a lot of stigmas, not that I have ever given a care in the world about other people's opinions of me, I am Jada Lewendon, I am no one else, nor will I ever be a sheep in which many peers of mine have allowed themselves to be. I stand my own, I raise my own and I live my own.
Yes I've got a past I'm not fully proud of, but I wouldn't change anything about it, I'd live it all over again if I had the chance of re-living the past or creating something new. That includes all the wrong choices I've made, such as the 'friends' I gave so much time to, the men I've had relationships with, the educational courses I took just to fulfil the days, and every single time I've been in trouble with the law - I don't regret no bad I've done, its made me who I am today - a 27 year old woman who takes rubbish from NO one.
Along with the bad comes the good though doesn't it!? As much as there have been bad decisions in my life, I can hold my head up high when I say the following!
I've never cheated - whilst I've had plenty of opportunities, I have never been a whore who has strayed, or gave another man attention. If I would, I'd make sure the person I cheat with is worth it though, I mean come on, they've got to look better than your partner to be worth it right? You should see some of the homewrecking trollops I've had to deal with, they make sick rise to the mouth, they're straight up Jeremy Kyle contestants!
I've never been unloyal - You need help I got you, my friends and family know this, 50% of my problems aren't even mine, they're someone else's, but I'm there. The minute you disrespect me though I'm gone, headstrong, whether you know it or not - I'm done.
I can admit when I'm wrong - I can admit I've made mistakes, not that I make many because I give everything so much thought, nothing comes from me lightly. I'm big enough to apologise when I've upset someone because of a bad choice I've made.
I know people make life mistakes - I'm known to be cold-hearted, but please believe I know we're all human, we all make the wrong choices, and then some of us make the world's biggest mistake. I've got a heart, I can see when someone is genuinely sorry, and if I warrant them a second chance, understand me when I tell you it's my last. They shouldn't have messed up their first chance! As quick as I'm there, I'm quick enough to disappear and erase you like you don't exist. I need one person in my life, my son, anyone else isn't a blessing, they're just extras - and if you're close enough to call my name then you know this, it's no news.
I've always made the best decisions for my son - and that includes breaking up with his dad. We weren't right for each other, and I don't want my son to experience fakeness, so if I can eliminate that from his life as much as possible, believe me, I will. I've spent countless of hours researching every educational setting he's been in, and I've made career changes to make sure I am doing him best, he's not young for long enough.
I've battled issues made for good reading books, big and LITTLE battles got me to where I am today, with one person forever riding my side, even though he doesn't know how much he's helped me, having my son at the age of 15 was truly the best thing to ever happen to me. Being a teenage parent never gave me lows, it's given me nothing but highs, if I wasn't already mature, my early start at parenthood certainly matured me, and whilst peers may only just be starting to plan a baby, which makes me feel old knowing my baby is just a year and two months away from being a teenager.... I know I'm as young as what I feel.
I know where I am in life, and I certainly know what I want in life. I have an amazing child, an amazing career, and good people around me.
Jada x
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