Whilst I sit at my desk and type this post angrily, venting my anger and frustration, letting all my thoughts out on this blog, there's a serious point to this post, and if I can educate just one person, than my work here is done. If not, good riddance - my work here is still done, I didn't start this blog for anyone else and the only reason I walk this ridiculous earth is because I decided to bring an innocent child into pure evilness.
I divorce people quicker than an engagement, no one is forced to read this post, so please do scroll on by if you think Autism doesn't exist, and get your head out of your rear on your way out of the door won't you!
If only we can have another Noah's Ark.
So you're most probably wondering by now what on earth's going on right? What's ruffled my feathers today!? I'm a big bird with lots of those incase you didn't know, however I won't bore you with my life story but I will give you today's story.
I'm exhausted, extremely tired - maybe because my stupid bed is trying to prevent me from sleeping in every way possible, or the fact that my son isn't sleeping properly, - but it's parenthood, I'm 11 years in with this no sleeping properly malarkey and boy am I use to it!
I'm indignant at the stupid system that's failed my son so much, diagnosing him with Autism at the age of 11, a few months before he started secondary school. He could've got a diagnosis when he was a lot younger, but some ignoramus decided to discharge my child from the local CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) before even meeting him, based on a few sheets of paper and missing out vital reports... how shameful.
However, I'm mad at the human population, at least the ones who can't get it into their dense heads, that people are different. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US is different, thankfully may I add, and yet whilst it seems okay to like different music, movies and meals, its not okay to accept that people are different when it comes to the general world?
Whilst the ''easiest'' of task may be a walk in the park to me, you, your children, your friends, neighbours and family members, doing something ''minor'' can be the hardest thing on the planet to achieve for a person with a disability or learning difficulties. I'm sick and tired of trying to explain to people that not everyone is the same!
I love cheese, when I say I love it, I mean I absolutely love it, cheese is the reason why I quit Slimming World, weighing out a insufficient 30g of cheese a day just wasn't something I was prepared to do. I'm also 100% sure cheese is the reason why I got so fat, well it's not the cheese's fault, but if it wasn't invented I'd sure be a lot smaller. Anyway, I'm side tracking - the angers starting to wear off, that's the beautiful joy of blogging - how it can calm the beast within.
Back to it, I love cheese, but good old Doris from number 37 hates it, and that's fine... It's acceptable right? Everyone seems to be on a gin and prosecco loving trend at the moment, and I hate it, but that's okay isn't it? I'm not going to fall out with anyone over their ways, and no one will fall out with me for loving cheese - as long as I don't become a millionaire and buy the Cathedral City factory for myself that is! So WHY when it comes to people being different at the task in life is it not acceptable? Is it not okay?
You hear it from a young age, TOO young if you ask me. Oh your baby isn't sitting up yet, mine was doing that from four months old. Well done Sheila, give yourself a massive pat on the back, want to know what my baby's doing? Well he's finally getting discharged from the hospital aftercare team because he was born seven weeks premature and needed an emergency operation when he was 3 weeks old.
Then you get it when the kids are older, why can't your child ride a bike yet? My child was doing it without stabilisers at the age of four. Again Susan, give yourself a pat on the back because to even get my child on a bike was an accomplishment in itself.
It's the same with everything, the exam results, the homework task, the way they can sort their own hair and I'm sick of listening to it. Do you know its like for a child with Autism along with a learning difficulty to feel when they're behind their peers? Do you know how it feels for them to be ashamed and embarrassed to ask for help? Do you know how it feels for them to touch an article of clothing that could send them into a breakdown? Do you know whats its like for a child to have difficulty processing information - even though you've explained something to them over 100 times!? Do you know what its like to be scared of every unknown moment? Needing routine to prevent the anxiety? Do you know what its like to lose precious time to concentrate on the smallest of things many of us oversee - like checking the hand dryer isn't being used before entering a public restroom because the noise can cause the mother of all breakdowns?
Do you know what its like to be a child who is different to the world, trying to understand why the world is so different to you? Even your own family. To feel stupid in the world, even though your family tell you every single day that you're not. Do you know what it's like to have FULLY GROWN adults make you feel like an idiot, building up more and unwanted anxieties. To be confused over the simplest of things, to not have a concept of danger, of time and patience.
Whilst I continue to build my boy up, teaching him to be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, I am constantly being pushed two steps back from the very people I least expect. So called authoritative figures amongst the few. Thankfully when it comes to my son's journey, we've only met a few imbeciles on the way, I'm sure the next won't be the last, but I'm sure I will always tell him that he is amazing, he is the best and he is unique.
Next time you stare at that child that's having a tantrum, think to yourself that child may be having a breakdown. An unexpected loud noise could've just distressed him to the point of a meltdown. Next time you see a child taking ages to pick something at the front of the queue in the sandwich shop, the assistant serving him may of just told him they're out of his favourite filling, so now he has the terrifying task of trying to think of something else to get, something so easy for many of us, but a break of routine for someone on the spectrum. Next time you see that child coming out of school looking scruffy, rest assured he didn't go in looking the same way, he just struggles with getting himself dressed, and he doesn't need your eyes or comments making it harder for him to deal with.
Educate yourselves, because there is no normal in this world.
x
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