Sometimes, I want to get lost in the screen, I love to write, I love to read.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I want my emotions to really run free, like really, no barriers, no stops.
There's always something stopping me.
I worry of getting judged because of my age, is it good for a mother to swear at any age when she is not around her children? Most probably not, that's what the prestige, high on their horses folk will say as they sip on their Prosecco for lunch. However, it's more than likely more acceptable for a mother of my age to swear at life if her children are babies.
Sometimes, we do need a rant. Children rant don't they? They have them ferocious burst of naughtiness quite a few times in their young year's, we call them tantrums don't we? Can we not have tantrums? It's okay for the lady from the television advert to do it, but she's just copying her son, throwing herself on the floor and screaming, just like her son - who can't get his own way.
Why's it half acceptable for a child to have a tantrum, a outburst and a cry? Why can't anyone above a certain age do the same and have an outburst? Not a full on child like tantrum, no need to pull our hair out, hold our breaths, scratch our faces and scream until we have the whole world looking, and is there really any need to throw ourselves on the floor to dirty our hour old clean clothes?
Can't we just say to the world we need five minutes, can't we just go and cry? Can't we let our emotions run wild in the ways we best deal with them? Not really, not comfortable at least. If I wan't to rant about the horrid child who's picked on Spud for the last few years, then I will - only it comes at judgement.
Oh don't be so silly Jade, it's childlike!!!
Oh really?
See, I wasn't brought up like that, if we done wrong to another child, or anyone of any age, then we would be told off and made to apologies, we'd also lose privileges and so we knew not to do it again! When I say done wrong to another child, it was always bickering between us siblings, hiding one another's favoutite toy or movie, knowing it would annoy them, but not thinking of the consequences of loosing our favourite toy or movie for the day - of course until it happened, then we would do it again. That's childlike isn't it? Annoying one another, winding each other up and playing pranks.
Making a child scared and upset to go to school is not childlike!
My Spud would never hurt a spider, literally! He's not a fan of them, but he won't kill or even hurt them in any way, he's such a softie. I'm not complaining, if he was vicious, horrid and wild, I'm pretty sure I'd want a good child, and I'm blessed because I have one.
There is just one thing that I would change about Spud if I could, and that's a characteristic. I want him to stand up for himself, stand up against these bullies. If he lets alcoholic low life parents children bully him now, and not say a word in self defense, how is he going to cope with the adult bullies in the world when he's an adult?
It's easy to say ignore them, but when they're hurting you, you shouldn't ignore them - because you're ignoring your own feelings.
I'm not afraid to name and shame, I'm lucky I come from a large family, and sibling fights both physical and verbal was a near every day occurrence - it's childlike isn't it. I can give as good as I get, and I know how to stand up for myself.
I'm opinionated and not coward enough to not say it. I won't follow the other sheep and wear the latest coat in fashion. I'll wear that multi-coloured dreamcoat if it suit's me, and when I say suit, I don't mean my appearance I mean my mood.
I really don't understand how people could be proud of their rotten children? How good do you feel knowing you've done such a shit job your child is the most evilest brat every other child hates? Do you get a kick out of getting called into the school every time I report your spawn of satin? Do you know you're a monster yourself, for allowing this shit to happen?
Do you know how angry you make me, when my child comes out of school at least once a week telling me yet another detailed event of an occurrence between him and your evil child at school? I send my son to school for his education, I think that's important - unlike you.
I'm very proud of the family I come from. Apart from my 12 year old sister, we all work and it's only been me who's had the longest stint on benefits. We're hard working and we don't expect the state to pay for the finer thing's in life. I pay for your child's free school meals and most probably his school uniform too.
I pay for your cigarettes and I pay for your clothes - which reminds me, do you not think your child bullies because maybe children make fun of him? They usually say a bully is getting bullied. You dress your child in ankle swingers, the dirties and greasiest of tops. He has longer hair then the Victorian homes curtains and to say you could fry a egg on his head, well....
That's an understatement.
I really want to insult you, not assault - insult, unlike your brat who think's its okay to continuously terrorise my boy. I'd love to do it every day, and if I could get away with it, I'd love to throw my hands around the way your child does to mine.
They say two wrong's don't make a right, but you can't let the world and it's chewed up gum spit on you.
You've clearly not tried talking to your son, like you promised too, well over a year ago! You've most probably encouraged it with the smirk you try to throw over every now and again.
I think you need to look around and notice that no one talks to you, which is a shame. You come to the school late, quite a few of us started speaking to you, not on a very personal level, just the usual playground routine chat - you know the chat you didn't know existed until your child started school?
Which reminds me, I must find out if the Romans made a script of that... Ohh wasn't it cold last night, did you see that fat alley cat chasing that owl, how was your chicken and stew. The weather forecast didn't mention any rain (do you now realise we live in England already!?), and the shape and colour of them potatoes are normal, unlike you otherwise suggested, they're rudolph potatoes, and no - they've not been imported on the back of an illegal immigrant filled lorry.
I don't actually think it's life shitting on us any more, it's humans, fellow beings of our sort. Dangerous and vindictive. Callous, cold and hungry.
A wise man once told me, there are two types of people in this world;
1 - You get eaten.
2. You eat them.
I know who I am.
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