A Letter To My Son On Your 7th Birthday

To my beautiful baby boy, today you have turned 7 years old (30th March 2013), so to anyone reading this, including you if you read this when your older, your be thinking why am I calling you baby, your always be my baby, forever and always. You was born 7 weeks premature Spud, you was so tiny, you weighed a very small 4lb, Nanny and Grandad had to go on a hunt to find some premature nappies and clothes for you as nappies came up to your chin and went down to your feet, clothes swallowed you and hats were out of the question. You was perfect, you still are perfect, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes, mummy's soft lips and Daddy's button nose, how I would stare at you for hours on end and hated it when you left me for a few hours each day to go to the special care unit. 

Mummy and Spud when you was 6 weeks old.

I would hold you for hours on end, never taking my eyes off you when visitors wanted a hold, I only trusted Nanny or Grandad to watch you whilst I showered and used the loo, how I would hate it when visiting times were over and I thought about leaving you for a second to use the toilet, luckily I made friends with a very nice lady in the bed next door, in turn we would watch each other's babies if one of us needed the loo. 

Auntie Paula having a cuddle with you.

Them doctors, nurses, specialist, health visitors and everyone else involved told me you would be slow and behind forever Spud, they told me you'd be a late walker, you'd be small forever and you'd be behind at school, I never cared, I took each day as it come. You had a habit of clasping your hands together from the day you was born, hence why in so many baby photo's your hand's are clasped together as if your praying, you've got to laugh, on the day of your Christening when being Christened by the Pastor, he held you and blessed you and announced to the Church you had started young as you was praying, not wanting to ruin the moment me and your Daddy kept it quiet that you do it constantly! Grandad had you in the trolley whilst shopping one day and a lady asked if his 'son' was born premature, Grandad replied and said he's my Grandson and yes he was, the lady responded with my son was born premature and does the exact same thing, its common with premature boys, you really do learn something new every day. Your arms and legs would move constantly when you was excited, they told me you'd never do certain stuff Spud, how wrong they was!

Just three weeks old and you nearly gave me a heart attack, we had not been out of hospital for long, we was just settling in at home with having you there, not that it was much difference, you have always been a good boy, you still are 7 years, yes you have your moments, but generally you are such a good boy. Yes back to that day when you was three weeks old, you wouldn't settle, you was screaming the place down and refusing food, I rang Nanny who advised to give you a bath to see if it would sooth you, it was when undressing you we noticed your belly, you looked pregnant, a tiny premature baby that looked like he had a baby inside, I rang Nanny hysterical, crying my eyes out whilst you was screaming your eyes out, Daddy was cuddling you, rocking you side to side, both of us first time parents going out of our minds with worry not knowing what was wrong. Nanny got to us so quickly, so quickly in fact I forgot half of the stuff I needed to pack, Nanny's amazing, she knows everything, well everything I need to know, she told me she thought you had a hernia before she even see your belly, she rushed us to A&E department of the hospital you was born in, within minutes you was rushed upstairs to the chidren's ward where you started having your stomach pumped, screaming the children's ward down with a team of health pro's around you, I was crying my eyes out, I was not allowed in the room, but I could see through a gap what was going on, your face was red, I wanted to walk in there and throw all of them doctor's and nurses away from you, but I knew they was helping. 

Pacing the outside of that room seemed like hours, in reality it was no longer then 20 minutes, two paramedics arrived on the ward and came to your room, to be honest I didn't even think what are they doing here, don't they normally bring people into A&E? None of that went through my mind until after, a few weeks after to be honest, my mind was on you, I wanted to be in the room with you, I wanted to hold you, to cuddle you, to sooth you, to sing lullabys in your ear and rock you in my arms, I wasn't aloud, I wasn't being told anything, your Daddy stood against a wall silently, I think he was in shock and trying to get his head around everything, not even 5 hours before we was at home admiring our beautiful baby boy, then we was at the hospital outside of a room where are baby was being treated, not having a clue in the world what was going on. What seemed like a lifetime after, the door of the room you was in swung open, we was told you would be going to John Radcliffe as you weighed less then 5lb, our local hospital Royal Berkshire couldn't operate on you. Them few days seemed like years of waiting, they didn't have a operating gown small enough for you Spud, you only weighed 4lb 2oz at the time of your operation, thankfully the operation was a success and you was aloud home less then a week later. From that moment on Spud, I knew life was to short, I made a promise, to protect you and look after you forever, and always.

Your sat in your bedroom whilst I'm writing this Spud, your playing your new Batman Lego game on your new PS3, it's the day before your 7th Birthday (at the time of writing this message) and we are going to Toys R Us shortly, for you to pick what you want for your Birthday. Every day I wake up to your beautiful smiling face, your beautiful dark brown eyes staring at me with them eyelashes to die for, you want a morning cuddle and kiss, we have a special bond Spud, some people say that if your baby isn't placed on you straight after birth, you don't bond, but we did Spud, we still do, we have a bond not even Mickey Mouse could break. Each and every day, you teach me something new, you continue to amaze me with your reading, 2 Nan's thinks your going to be like me, clever at reading and writing, you tell me about your days at school and what you have learned, your amazing Spud. Everyone is biased when it comes to their children, and I am too, your beautiful, only the best girl will do for you son! 

7 years Spud, where have them 7 years gone, life goes too quickly when your a parent Spud, one minute your babbling, trying to talk in your walker, instead you blow raspberries now you have full on conversations with me, the pureed baby food that once touched your lips, is now a steak and homemade chips, that tiny little premature baby weighing 4lb is now nearly as tall as Mummy and defiantly taller than Daddy, you've caught up with your weight too, your perfect you are, when you sleep, I look at how peaceful you are, I wish I was magic, I wish I knew spells, I would wish for you to never grow old, to grow up and deal with life's dramas. 

My beautiful beautiful boy, too many cherished and private memories we have to share when your older, in stories and photo's for proof, you love our holidays, you love Weymouth, just for the Mickey Mouse ride over the road from the beach. You LOVE Mickey Mouse, and anything Disney. I promise you baby by the time you have read this when you are older, maybe 16 or even maybe a parent yourself, you would of visited Disneyland, because I promise you baby, Mummy's saving up for Disneyland, and we are going to meet Mickey, for you baby.

Your Mickey Mouse covered bedroom.

You are one of the most polite, well mannered, well behaved, respectful, respected little boys everywhere you go, shy most of the time, but a pleasure to have, I am so proud to know I'm your Mummy, I'm proud of the little man you are growing into, considering your father has not played a part in your life I am so proud me and you could get along together, I love our time together, snuggling up on the sofa under Mummy's duvet watching Disney film after Disney film, popcorn stuck on the sides of our faces, giggling away, not a care in the world. I love you Spud, forever and always, more then words can ever begin to explain, Mummy's boy, my boy, forever and always.

What your be waking up to on the 30th March 2013.

Happy 7th Birthday baby boy, your very proud Mummy xxxxxxxxxx